I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
