I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
