Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
