I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Little spoons don't ask big questions
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
