dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You did what with his pubic hair?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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