I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
