I hate all girls vehemently.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
