i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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