i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
