awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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