When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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