Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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