i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
