I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he told me I talked like a deaf person
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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