is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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