Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
