I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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