Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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