my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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