road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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