the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
