Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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