i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
