I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
