oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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