somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
