Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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