Just cropdusted the office
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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