why didn't you poke me back
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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