dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
