Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
