Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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