Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
They took my balls.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize