May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Sober January is a disaster.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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