Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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