Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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