They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize