Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
