dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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