I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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