She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
