she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
