There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
