Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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