i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
