we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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