Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
foreskin is a definite game changer
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
