i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
