Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
no you cant smoke seaweed
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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