One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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