He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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