I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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