So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she peed on how many people?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
