it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
