Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
