she woke up with a sticky ear
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
