Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize