First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
