So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
