question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
