Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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