I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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