I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
