A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
