And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
