I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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